Happy Second Birthday! (Part Five)

As I've been writing my posts this week, I've been thinking about the past year, but also thinking about what's to come. What do we have to look forward to in 2008-2009? Well the next year looks like it’s going to be quite an interesting one, as I’m going to be spending around three months in the Faroe Islands.*

Now, correct me if I’m wrong here, but not too many people know much about the Faroe Islands, and as you’re going to be reading a fair bit about them over the next year (assuming you stick with this), I thought it’d be a good idea to give you a little introduction. So here are ten facts you never knew about the Faroe Islands, which were forwarded to me by a Faroese friend. Stick with it, it’s funny (I apologise for the odd bit of language here, I changed some of it, but some of it had to stay for it to work):

The Faroe Islands – Facts (You Never Knew) You Never Knew:

1) Although the islands' main industry is fishing, most of the catch is exported (97% of Faroese exports have scales and fins). Hence it's almost impossible to buy fresh fish in the Faroes. Most supermarket fish is shrink-wrapped and imported from Denmark. The best way to obtain fresh fish in the Faroes is as follows: Go to the harbour and engage a recently arrived fisherman in conversation, suddenly point somewhere behind him and shout 'Oh my word, look at that!' When the fisherman turns round to look, scoop up an armful of fish and hot foot it from the scene.

2) The rocky terrain of the Faroes makes it virtually impossible grow fresh produce. Hence the vegetables you buy at the supermarket are, like the fish, shrink-wrapped and imported from Denmark. If you live in the Faroes and want to buy fresh fish, fruit and vegetables, your best bet is to move to Copenhagen.

3) Most older Faroese houses have turf roofs to provide insulation.

'I'm just popping out to mow the roof,' may sound like a convoluted euphemism for a visit to the toilet, but it's a phrase heard in many Faroese households during the summer months. In contrast, Faroese gardens don't have lawns – they're covered in roofing slates. They're not really, I just made that up.

4) There are thought to be twice as many sheep in the Faroes as there are people. The Faroese word for Faroe Islands, Føroyar, means 'Isles of Sheep'. There is a 1000 kroner fine for anyone hitting a sheep with their car, accidentally or otherwise, so be on your guard.

Faroese sheep are notoriously litigious creatures, and what you interpret as cute baa-ing actually means 'Nice car. Wouldn't it be a shame if the front wing got damaged, know what I mean?' Believe me, those innocent, quizzical ovine faces mask sharp financial minds fully conversant with compensation law. Where do you think the verb 'to fleece' came from?

5) The Faroese are football crazy. When the national stadium in Torshavn is full to its 6,000 capacity, that's fifteen per cent of the entire population - the equivalent of about eight million people turning up at Wembley to watch England.

Two years ago, Julian Johnsson became the first Faroese to play in the English league after signing for Hull City. Presumably he chose Hull because the prevailing smell of fish would remind him of home.

6) Until 1992, alcohol was strictly rationed in the Faroe Islands. You could apply to the government to buy alcoholic drink but, and this was a stroke of genius by the Faroese authorities, you could only apply if your taxes were all paid up to date.

It was the Faroese equivalent of the Inland Revenue taking over Oddbins and only handing over a bottle of Jacob's Creek on presentation of your latest P60. But you couldn't have it straightaway: the booze would arrive by boat from Denmark every three months and the country would grind to a halt for three days afterwards, leaving the streets full of prostrate, pie-eyed, pissed-up but paid-up Faroese.

7) The airport that serves the Faroe Islands is located on the remote western island of Vágar, a one-and-a-half hour drive from the capital Tórshavn. This is because it's the only island with a piece of flat ground long enough to accommodate a runway, and even then it's one of the shortest in Europe.

When flying with the national carrier Atlantic Airways for the first time, you may be struck by the frequency and enthusiasm with which the cabin staff ply you with free booze. Once you catch a glimpse of the tiny stretch of tarmac towards which you're barrelling out of the heavens, you soon realise why.

8) Faroese weather can best be described as changeable. 'Four seasons in one hour' is a popular local saying, and it's not unknown to experience sun, rain, snow, hail, dense fog and gale force winds in the time it takes to put the bins out.

9) Faroese is an ancient Nordic language thought to be the closest to that spoken by the Vikings (John: This isn’t quite true). During the 1940s, under Danish rule, the language was at risk of disappearing altogether but conscious effort was then made to preserve it. This even extended to placing handy grammar hints and verb declensions on the sides of milk cartons.

Faroese contains a number of useful words and phrases such as brenna krakk, which means 'burning the three-legged stool after turning down a suitor'. Fjalla is a useful verb meaning 'to go into the hills to work among the sheep', whilst skadahvalur is 'whalemeat sold at auction to defray the cost of damages to boats'. Vevlingur is 'a cord worn around the sleeve when digging for puffins' and, and this is my favourite, the skeinkjari: that popular chap, the 'man who goes among wedding guests, offering them drink'.

10) The Faroe Islands boast over 300 different species of seabird. Roast puffin is a popular local dish, and puffins stuffed with sawdust are proving to be a thriving cottage tourist industry for ornithological taxidermists. Faroese law states that you can't shoot puffins. You can, however, smack them with a big stick. Skilled puffin catchers scale the treacherous cliffs smacking puffins with big sticks and fastening them to their belts for safe passage like a feathery black and white sporran.

Guillemots are also rife in the islands but you're not allowed to catch Faroese ones, not even with big sticks. You are however allowed to catch those that have come over from Iceland. How you can tell which is which is a moot point. You could ask them, but Icelandic guillemots are canny creatures and can do a convincing Faroese accent.

*You can read my account of a trip to the Faroes here.