I Don't Care What Andy Says...

Old time Salvation Army uniforms are cool!

Check out the uniform which I made myself (by 'made myself', I mean borrowed a tunic, wore my own trousers and shoes, turned an old red t-shirt round and stuck a tambourine sticker on the front, but the initiative was all mine).

As promised, here's a couple of pictures from our old time London night:

Anna, with an off the shoulder number.

Danni went all out for her costume!

Stacey and Danni - it was a little bit embarrassing for Stacey when she arrived, because she'd forgotten it was supposed to be fancy dress.

And I don't think Oscar was quite prepared for how bright the camera flash was...

In other news:

1. No-one pick up that the word cromulent (in my previous post) is, in fact, not a word at all? I wanted to see whether I could get away with it, and I did.

2. To the right, I've added a video by the group All Angels. Now this is not really my thing usually, but they sang this song live at the Rememberance Service at the Royal Albert Hall and it was one of the most beautiful things I've ever heard. This video is, however, pants. So, enjoy it, but don't watch it.

Brainstorm

The word 'Brainstorm' isn't really a good title for this post, but the other day someone told me we're not allowed to say it anymore, and that just made me want to use it all the more... I'm like a child.*

So, for this post - to be a little different - I thought I would just write down all the thoughts I had today. They are somewhat random, because that's what thoughts are like. Every time I had one, I wrote it down in my phone. And here they are:

Every song should have an alternative Amy Winehouse version.

How does Katie Melua keep a serious face when she sings those lyrics?

Why do so many people in London have paint on their trousers?

Is there a British film without Jim Broadbent in it?

While looking for Christian Christmas cards, it dawned on me that it's hard to find stylish ones. Then the lady standing next to me picked up some cards showing a dog wearing a tiara and I realised that maybe I'm just looking for the wrong thing.

(This wasn't the actual picture, but what a gem, eh?)

Lisa Harries and myself made a deal that we'd get married when we're 40 if neither of us is married by then. I wonder whether she's remembered that and how she's doing...

If all the raindrops WERE lemondrops and gumdrops, oh what a rain that WOULD be.

Someone at uni told me Ace of Base were rubbish. I still haven't gotten over that yet.

In the previous thought, I used the word 'gotten' and that is an Americanism which is becoming more and more common over here... It should be GOT!

When you give someone from Southend a drama script, why do they always become Cockneys? (cf. 'Ere, you seen'at Jesus fella?' for example... Always starting sentences with 'ere. Someone should research that phenomenon. I choose Andy).

Why do people insist on carrying their iPods in their hands while walking around London?

I can't take anyone seriously who rings the bell on their bike.

I really need to post the pictures from the London night... It was cool. I made my T-shirt myself. I ALMOST looked cromulent.

I saw a TV programme about a woman who said she was psychic. She said she once had a vision of a plane crash, and the very next day, a plane crashed off the coast of Hungary. 'That's impressive', I thought to myself. Even more impressive would be finding the coast of Hungary.

It doesn't matter who it is - a bodybuilder, a tough bouncer, a rock 'ard biker - as soon as someone takes homemade sandwiches out of their bag, they look vulnerable somehow.

Relating to my previous post:

As I was in Waterstones this week I saw a book entitled 'You Can Get Arrested for That' by Richard Smith (now there's a unique name). I have no idea what it's like, so I'm NOT recommending it, but it's about two guys who cross America trying to break stupid laws. Topical. The three mentioned on the back cover were:

It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep in a cheese factory (South Dakota)

It is illegal to play a trumpet with the intention of luring someone to a store (California)

and, my personal favourite:

It is illegal to catch a fish with a lasso (Tennessee).

Sweet.

*Apparently the PC term is 'thought shower', which I find completely stupid. However, that may have actually been more appropriate here...

Oops...

I think of myself as a pretty law-abiding kinda chap. But today I discovered that I have actually broken the law. And more than just once. In fact, I break the law fairly regularly. And I enjoy it.

And how?

I eat mince pies. And I eat them on Christmas Day.

I'm sure some of you will have known this, but did the rest of you have any idea that eating mince pies on Christmas Day is actually against the law? Thanks to Oliver Cromwell. that law was created in the 17th Century (now, you can't say you don't learn things from mitchenstein).

I love these old obscure laws. And have done ever since I learned that it's illegal to eat more than three sandwiches at a funeral in Norway (oops). Just what was going through people's minds when these laws were created?

1. It's illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament.

2. Placing a postage stamp upside down is an act of treason.

3. It is illegal to enter the Houses of Parliament wearing a suit of armour.

4. A pregnant woman can legally relieve herself wherever she wants.

5. It is illegal not to tell the tax man anything you do not want him to know, but legal not to tell him information you do not mind him knowing (?!).

6. If a dead whale washes up on the coast, the head automatically belongs to the king, while the tail belongs to the queen.

While the above laws are definitely true, the following ones are rumoured to be true, but the BBC was unable to verify them:

7. In Florida, it is illegal for an unmarried woman to use a parachute on a Sunday.

8. In Florida, it is also illegal to get fish drunk.

9. In Switzerland, it is illegal to flush the chain after 10pm.

(10. I have also heard that it is illegal for men to stand up to use the toilet after 10pm in Switzerland - Anna, I take back anything I've ever said about Switzerland, these people are clearly on the ball).

11. It is legal to shoot a Scotsman within the city walls of York, as long as a bow and arrow are used (I've heard the same thing about a Welshman in Chester, but for that it has to be after sunset).

Furthermore:

12. In the UK, it is technically illegal to fly a kite.

13. And to use a sledge on snow.

14. And don't even think about gambling in the reading room of a library.

Does anyone know of any others?

In other news:

I'm a bit of a fan of Wikipedia - I know it's not the most reliable source on the internet, but it's still pretty useful at times. However, ever since I read that Stacey's mum in Eastenders sang backing vocals on Madonna's latest album, I'm just not sure what to believe anymore.

Ripped Off...

When I was ten years old, a group of us at school decided to make a band. We had it all planned out. We were going to hit the big time (apart from Stuart who used to sing behind the bookcase because he was too nervous to sing in front of people's faces).

One playtime, Joanna and I sat down to write our band's first song. It was called Never Again and it was actually very good (I wrote the verse and she wrote the chorus - my part was better). Later on, when Joanna wrote Don't Leave Me, I realised we were just heading in different directions musically.

Anyway, I digress. We used to have band practices every week (even with a keyboard) and the future looked bright for us. Until Gemma and I realised that the others were holding us back and we ditched them.

And that was it for us. The world missed out.

But why am I telling you this?

Today, I was sitting listening to Maroon 5's otherwise very good album, It Won't Be Soon Before Long.

As track 5, Nothing Lasts Forever, began to play, I realised that Maroon 5 had completely, unashamedly, ripped off Never Again. Now, who do I call about that?